I bought this sign today as an early Valentines’ Day present for my hubby. Since we will be on holiday that day I showed it to him right away. He thought it was cool, but after he read through it his first words were (and I kid you not), “What about sex?!” What can I say, he is a guy. And, he’s a chef. His argument was that recipes should be balanced.
Putting aside the fact that the sign was likely made for a more family-friendly application, I do agree that if “romance” is included then sex is a logical ingredient to add in the mixture.
I suppose you might be asking that age-old question posed by Harry and Sally: “Can men and women be friends?” That of course is at the essence of the discussion.
Ultimately, my hubby is right. (Don’t tell him I said that.) It’s all about balance. If you can manage the sexual tension that exists on a primal level then you can probably have a successful friendship for a long time, just like Harry and Sally did. But eventually, you have to deal with it – just like you have to deal with the cake batter that overflows the pan in the oven or the grill that flares up and burns your steaks. Nothing is entirely predictable.
Love, and life, do have recipes, but just like anything else you’ll search on the Internet these days you’ll find there isn’t only one. It’s the balance that makes the recipe work. Flavours of sweet and sour, sweet and salty, bitter and sweet, and even umami – that earthly sensation that fills you up – need to be considered. Any good cook knows that recipes are altered with the seasons, as fresh ingredients import different intensities of flavour and corresponding spices need to be adjusted. If you’re fortunate, like me, you find your soulmate and the scales are easier to tip in your favour. When you both know each other and trust each other implicitly, it’s like a a tried-and-true recipe you’ve made plenty of times: you don’t need to measure anymore and it always turns out just fine. Maybe not exactly the same every time, but just fine.
I’m not trying to say there is no happiness for people who don’t have a mate. There are friendships that transcend the earthly confines of traditional relationships – sometimes with siblings, or long-standing friends – even long distance friends. The connection one feels with that kind of friend has the same kind of magic as an intimate relationship can have. I do believe we all have the opportunity for that kind of connection. It’s out there, just keep on cooking and you’ll find the right recipe. Eventually, you will find the combination of ingredients that works for you. As Harry said,
…when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Here’s to the rest of our lives.
With the end of the festive season and the beginning of a New Year I have resolved to try out new recipes on a more regular basis amidst my enjoyment of old favourites. My year is focused on balance and this is another way I am working to achieve that. Cooking is always a large part of the holidays and the entertaining of friends and family is much of why we say we indulge so heavily. How about enjoying the tastes throughout the year and spacing the indulgence over months instead of days? It would likely put us in a pleasant state of mind, as well.
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.”
Lady Caroline, Oscar Wilde’s A Woman of No Importance, act 2 (1893)
Yesterday I made a Twelfth Night Torte to mark the official end of Christmas celebrations, and later this week I’ll be making a salad I found in a recent Bon Appetit issue with a unique spice combination. Once I work out a few more times to work off the shortbread and wine from Christmas, I’m going to make a Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Upside Down Cake I saw from Pinch of Yum, a great food blog. I am excited to enter into the new year with new experiences in the kitchen, but I am not looking to reinvent the wheel. I want to set myself up for success, not try to create Boeuf Bourgignon on Monday and Sole Meuniere on Tuesday. Julia Child I am not.
One idea I have is to travel with my recipes. I’m thinking I’ll put up a map on Google and pin the countries whose recipes I have cooked. I’ll be a dining table traveller! My cookbook library is notorious for holding the secrets from all kinds of exotic places and many of the blogs and newsletters I follow have cool stuff too. Anyone out there have any favourites?
So, here goes nothing. Salad tonight will leave me room for popcorn at the movie (my husband and I have a standing date night at the local theatre on Tuesday, and this time of year we gear up for the Oscars.) Maybe tomorrow I’ll pick a book at random and see where it takes me for dinner!